You: fairly average software dev claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of tanding on the leaderboard at least once uses a wastes a minute right out the gate waiting for it to start parsing

You:
fairly average software dev
claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of
tanding on the leaderboard at least once
uses a wastes a minute right out the gate
waiting for it to start
parsing the problem statement while others are
already answers
actually uses a debugger when things aren't working
Your competition:
"НасКегтап"
InfoSec major
sits on a near-lethal dose of
for the timer to Ни 0000
has automated scripts for pulling the input and
submitting solutions, and his own library of helper
functtons for every imaginable problem class
knows your at all
research scientist at Intel
does puzztes for fun that are harder than any job you
will ever have
$0 utterly bored with the problems that he creates
increasingly ridiculous restrictions to keep
things interesting
solved last year exctusively in APL on a System/360
and finished on the global leaderboard
personal homepage is HTML 2.0 compliant
software dev fram undisclosed
country, making 200k/yr for a company you've never
heard of
35 in literally every coding competition
Twitch stream 1$ just a Vim terminal and the sounds of a
mechanical keyboard
types faster than you can read or think
Linux kernel hacker
specialization in compiler design
15 golfing in some esoteric language nobody has ever
heard of
can mentally transpile any code he sees to assembly
measures his solutions’ performance in actual clock
cycles
overworked Chinese university student, double majoring
in theoretical physics and chemical engineering
has been locked tnto various educational institutions
since he was 3 years old
only time outside of school is for prano lessons
can only see the relevant parts of the problem
statement
you will not understand his solutions without a PhD in
4 2
discrete mathematics
“Samir Nagheenanajar”
outsourced IT support technician
does puzzles because he has nothing better to during
his shift
forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to
install other software
the face of God using only VBA
rumored to possess the combined knowledge and
power of all indian educational YouTubers