File: (94 Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed)16:03:39 No.726490398 story time autists >be me >6'6" 280 redneck >we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck >live 2 mile

File: (94
Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed)16:03:39 No.726490398
story time autists
>be me
>6'6" 280 redneck
>we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck
>live 2 miles from nearest human and 10 miles from nearest town
>watching shitty reality one evening
>stark naked Texan summers and my wagie ass can't afford
>at about hear car pulling up in driveway
>LeaveMeAloneShitheads.jpg
>look out window, see shitter Toyota covered in graffiti
>3 teenagers in what guessing was supposed to be "scary" clown attire file out
>recall string of vandalism in local news, lightbulb goes off
>NotOnMyWatch.exe
>grab rifie, throw on nearest pair of boots and quietly out back door
>start slowly circling around trailer hoping to catch the little faggots in the act
>hear some indistinct talking on side opposite mine, figure it's my chance
>dramatically jump out with rifle up and start thinking of something imposing to say like "wanna die?" or "fuck you"
>stage 5 autism kicks in, my brain fuses the two, and shout at the top of my voice "WANNA FUCK?"
>quickly look down and realize all the adrenaline has made my member fully erect
>realize how it must look from their perspective
>a 6'6" fatass with an a woody, and wearing nothing but cowboy boots has just asked them to fuck
have NEVER seen anything haul ass faster in my entire life
>no vandalism on the news for a couple weeks