Introducing This year, the programming language you love comes with tremendous new features, including: 33 new STL sub-libraries for graphics, quantum computing, blockchain development, artificial int

Introducing
This year, the programming language you love
comes with tremendous new features, including:
33 new STL sub-libraries for graphics,
quantum computing, blockchain development,
artificial intelligence, and political
decisionmaking, all of which are already
deprecated
Parabolic meta-template-template templates
Method bodies can now be written in Perl
Pass qxrmvalue semi-shared reference,
which enables copy-sometimes-but-move-
other-times-and-sometimes-crash semantics
IVAN, the smart personal compiler assistant,
now comes with 3 new voices
CppJunior, the new simplified subset of
you’ll now have to use to get any actual
goddamn programming done